<![CDATA[Ckd Dressage - Courtney's updates]]>Tue, 21 May 2013 12:29:44 -0500Weebly<![CDATA[Happy to be home!]]>Thu, 09 May 2013 21:39:46 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/05/happy-to-be-home.htmlJust a quick note to express how happy I am to be home!!!! I started therapy today and was incredibly happy to see my therapists from up here. I am so looking forward to doing it full on next winter, but I feel good about continuing to plug away with them and build up my lax muscles. My therapist actually said he wants to come down to check the new place out! He has a lot to offer. And nothing could outweigh the value of getting into bed with my honey!! :) Yup, next year I'm down there for six months anyway, so it makes much more sense. 
And I'm enjoying doing clinics and teaching, am very happy in this new life. A year and a half ago I was certain I'd recover enough to be in the able-bodied Olympics again. Somehow it wasn't hard to give up that dream. My other passion simply filled the draining reservoir and I'm lucky enough that my satisfaction can be sustained through the other things I've learned to do: teach and write. ]]><![CDATA[April 23rd, 2013]]>Tue, 23 Apr 2013 17:50:41 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/04/april-23rd-2013.htmlOK. I have very disappointing news that the therapy I was so looking forward to didn't work out for this year. :(( My paperwork couldn't be organized in time and the longer starting was postponed, the longer I need to be away from my husband. For how deeply I want the therapy, I've always said my main priority was being happy in life, and the six months I spend in Florida each year is already pushing the limits. They said that they will keep a place for me next year, so I'll have a solid six months.
I'm more excited to go home than I thought I'd be. To spend evenings on the couch with Jason watching the Daily Show and sharing our coveted bottle of $12 red wine. My big white dog, Quiver, snoring on the couch next to me. My cat, Orzo, making rounds out the cat door, around the house only to demand to be let in the other door, repeat. Sleeping in bed with my dear hubby.
I already set up therapy for the day after I get back. I'm sure that Adam will give my muscles a good jump start. Yes, it wil
]]><![CDATA[April update]]>Tue, 16 Apr 2013 16:09:11 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/04/april-update1.htmlI had a FABULOUS time in New Zealand!! It was the most I've seen in that little country, partly because I spent 2 1/2 weeks there whereas when I rode, I refused to be away from my horses for too long. Once we went for 6 days, which, with two days of travel, left just enough time to give his family and friends a squeeze and a card game. Plus, my sister came (yay!) so Jason was able to show her (hence me!) all the sites. We rented a camper van for 5 days and traveled around the South Island, and in NZ you don't have to spend nights in a camper park; you just pull of near any old lake where the view is fabulous!

It was a great vacation and now I'm excited to get my nose back to that grindstone! I hope to start the intensive therapy on Monday; they have to finalize the extensive paperwork required by their insurance for their fancy machines and then I'm good to go. And when my my neurologist did my brain mapping for neuro feedback, he said he found something "very interesting and unusual" and recommended direct electrical brain stimulation therapy which could really help with my insomnia. It sounds invasive but apparently I just stick electrodes on my ears and relax (which I have a hard time doing!).

Another exciting thing is that someone is sending their very elegant 4 year old for Koryn to train with the plan of eventually selling him. After 6 months, I need to judge if he's worth us keeping him to sell as a PSG/ I1 horse years down the road or if we should sell him now. And when we get back to New York someone is sending their FEI horse for Koryn to ride and me to train.

My dreams are coming together in fine fashion!
 

This was written a few days ago but my site editor has been on the fritz. I can hopefully start therapy tomorrow, didn't come together in time for today but I'm trying to do as much as I can to get a start!

I thought of a rather hilarious story I forgot to share with you all...

So, a few weeks ago, I'm at Hampton Green to teach some of our EDAP kids with Lendon. We finish and begin to walk to my car which is rather far away. I'm on time restraint so I ask her to go ask Betsy (who's waiting in it) to drive over and get me. She says, You ok? I answer yup and she starts to walk away just as we reach a slight incline in our grass path. I say, Well, maybe... She stops and looks around at me just as I'm doing a timber, one good arm doing the windmill to try to stay upright. She lunges over and grabs my arm but the force of my descent simply pulls her with me. So there we are like a couple of tortoises on our backs laughing uproariously  with the kids and viewers looking on unsure of how to react. Typical of Lendon, she says, Well, at least I didn't fall on you! 

]]><![CDATA[Therapy]]>Sun, 03 Mar 2013 22:53:22 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/03/therapy.htmlAlthough I'm continually thankful for the many areas in which my good fortune shines through and the fact that I have other areas in which I feel useful, I've become disheartened because it feels like doing therapy is spinning my wheels. The act of trying to accellerate feels good but I'm not moving, at least noticably. I was becoming content accepting that this is just how I am-- being gateful for my many gifts and finding solace in the fact that becoming how I am has helped a great many people. Telling myself that life goes on: I'll most likely never drive, never run or even walk without a cane, hold a baby. Maybe never carry a glass of liquid, put my hair in a ponytail, carry my dog. I couldn't have worked any harder than I did; I did everything my therapists told me to do times ten. Acceptance is against my nature but not as much as unhappiness is. When it appeared to be a choice between the two, I was close to choosing the former.
Then I found NeuroXcel. They're here in South Florida, very intensive and require a three-month minimum commitment. So when I get back from New Zealand in mid-April, I'm going to stay down here and do that. I go there 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, have a therapist work with me occassionally at home, do many exercises on my own and do neurofeedback. 
 Another piece of exceptional news is that I've had 5 nights of good drug-free sleep. I wanted to go drug-free simply because the drug began to not reliably work so I wanted to let my body reset and hopefully eliminate my tolerance. I was absolutely prepared to give up whole days to uselessness due to lack of sleep.
I just now realized a possible explanation-- it's not as if I haven't tried drug-free before; I detest relying on drugs. But Tom, the owner of NeuroXcel, said that perhaps the reason I don't sleep is that my brain is busy processing; even if I'm not consciously thinking of things, my brain uses the night to process everything I've worked on during the day. My neurologist expained my brains activity an interesting way when they tested my brain waves soon after the coma: he said my brain is always in 5th gear, which is great when you're driving down the highway but won't get you out of the driveway. So maybe my brain was busy, busy, busy trying to figure out my new body. And perhaps the knowledge that we're going to enter this intensive therapy program removed some of the pressure and has allowed it to relax. Who knows. As my neurologist aptly stated: some things just can't be explained, especially medical.
 ]]><![CDATA[Riders4helmets]]>Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:39:52 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/02/riders4helmets.htmlI  want to share some videos I made for riders4helmets because it's my dream that others learn from my mistake...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMDksmkdW1g

http://www.youtube.com/embed/pNfRVNrdyEU]]><![CDATA[oops]]>Mon, 04 Feb 2013 14:29:08 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/02/oops.htmlI just read my original post on facebook and I guess that I realized I was tooting my own horn so erased that part before submitting it. Sometimes I'm smart. And then forget that I was.]]><![CDATA[Speaking]]>Mon, 04 Feb 2013 14:20:33 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/02/speaking.htmlI had a fantastic time speaking in Wisconsin, although I must admit I'm happy to live in Florida! It was unfortunate timing because a riders4helmets Safety Symposium that I would have loved to have attended was on the same weekend, but I had committed to speak almost a year ago. So I did a video speech for riders4helmets to at least add my 2 cents, put on my winter jacket and went to Wisconsin.

I said before that saving one life makes me feel that my accident was worth while, but these talking engagements offer a tangible glimmer of that purpose. We had a signing after (go, Righty, go!) and hearing the people say how my accident affected them and sharing my journey all along the way inspired them, makes me feel my accident wasn't a totally bad thing.

I put on Facebook that I so want to do more of these things and tooted my own horn about the longevity that people's questions kept me on stage and I regret that. I was just so excited about the mutual enthusiasm, but it came off as wanting to do more speaking simply because its fun and people like it, when in reality, it's a completely selfish desire. Seeing the effects I have on people firsthand is very comforting; I'm struggling to come up with a good way to describe it, but it just makes me feel good, worth while. To be able to answer their questions-- which ranged from what's your favorite exercise to get a horse off your inside leg to did you hear when you were in a coma to how do you balance going to college with riding to when you have very dark days, how do you get out of them-- suits my nature. I like to get to the nitty gritty; I get strange pleasure from laying myself out on the dissecting table.

So yes, I want to do more, but the reasons are selfish.

 

]]><![CDATA[Baby's getting too strong!]]>Wed, 30 Jan 2013 22:16:54 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/01/babys-getting-too-strong.htmlI had to get my baclofen REDUCED today!! I told the doctor the last time I went in that i felt a bit wobbly and he said that it may be the pump causing weakness. I said, no my leg isn't weak, I'm just wobbly and he said the wobbliness is most likely caused by my core being weak! That made perfect sense so I asked if we needed to give my body more time to get used to it, to which he replied yes. So we still did an increase but a more mild one and made my appointment for two weeks later (which is next week) instead of the following week (which is this). I've gotten progressively worse, however, (other than the lack of hand brace which I'm happy I didn't throw away) and I do a talk in Wisconsin (brr) on Saturday which I'm desperate to be safe for. So I called the doctor yesterday and they so kindly made a space for me today. Then I realized that my body doesn't just get used to it, I need to build up the weak muscles to accommodate the change so it takes more than a week. I guess I was a bit ambitious in my excitement to see changes! So today he substantially reduced the amount I get and said I can go back tomorrow if we didn't decrease it enough. Using the handbrace again is well worth not having to do my talk from my wheelchair!]]><![CDATA[A lot plus a whole lot of nothing]]>Fri, 25 Jan 2013 16:20:21 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/01/a-lot-plus-a-whole-lot-of-nothing.htmlThe good news is that I've experienced the first official benefit of the pump. Since my accident, I've slept with a big, heavy brace on Righty (which is quite annoying to Jason) to prevent the spasticity making him clench. I've tried to sleep without it a couple times and woke with sore knuckles and deep imprints of my nails. But the past 3 nights, I've slept brace-free with no side effects!
The bad news, and the reason I haven't written in so long, is that Rosie's been having soundness problems. It keeps switching legs and is just overall discomfort, so it seems very lymy. She came up negative on the titer but, because the vet couldn't figure it out, I'm treating her for lymes anyway. Wes spoke to a lymes specialist who told him there are different strains that don't test and aren't affected by doxy, so if the doxy doesn't help, he's going to get the other medication that does in case it's another strain. He's been incredibly helpful in assisting with the expenses, and I thank all of you for that, too.
I can still ride the other horse, but since it's only safe to ride him on the leadline, I can't show him. And it's weird: without Rosie I became very unmotivated to ride. I realized that it's because I'm goal oriented. Whereas I was very much enjoying my extra time in the saddle to work on my weight distribution, without having something to work toward, I lost my motivation. But hopefully Rosie is on the mend, plus one of my clients, who began supporting me when I was 17, said she wants to sell her current horse, who she bought for me when he was 3, to buy me a para horse!!!
In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying teaching and LOVE my therapy so no complaints. That's horses... ]]><![CDATA[Yay Pump!]]>Fri, 04 Jan 2013 16:33:29 GMThttp://ckddressage.com/1/post/2013/01/yay-pump.htmlI'm beginning to see real benefits from the pump... It's working! My pump doctor down here is MUCH more aggressive than my one up north (not so timely, but much more aggressive). He's upped my dose in 3 weeks what it would take the Connecticut doctor (who I love) 3 months to do. It's perfect.
For the first time ever, my right arm is able to hang down and swing  a little bit when I walk. When I used to try to throw a ball in therapy, I had a hard time letting go; I would go through the basic motion of throwing but my fingers refused to release the ball. Therefore, I would tell my fingers to open before commencing the arm action in order to release at the right time. Yesterday, I dropped the ball  several times before trajectory was initiated and I realized that my fingers were letting go exactly when I told them to so now I don't need to pre-prepare them.

Although the benefits are mainly noticeable in my arm, Thumper is on his way out. He used to come out after 15 minutes in the saddle, but he hasn't appeared in 10 days. I'm also able to take my trike rides again. I was even hopeful that it was helping my sleeping as the oral Baclofen that I took to make sure I wasn't allergic seemed to help somewhat. The last two nights, I've gotten 4 hours naturally (which for me is stellar) and continued to doze in and out (which never happens); I didn't need to take the date-rape drug at all. Tonight is not going so well, however, which made me doubt its help at first, but perhaps because of my last two fantastic nights, I'm simply not tired enough.

Despite the unfortunate appearance of the ridiculously large bulge in my belly, I'm so glad that I gave the pump another chance. I'm extremely fortunate that the current style is very baggy shirts to somewhat hide it but I have to say, I'm thankful that I don't place a ton of value on how I look.  I saw my back the other day and the scars from my tumble down the stairs are atrocious. What do you think the chances are of a full backed swimsuit coming into style?

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